How does loneliness affect people

Being alone vs being lonely

Being alone means being by yourself in the space. Being lonely means feeling unhappy because of a lack of mental or physical companionship.

You can be by yourself and living happily – with your own company or be with other people whose company you do not like and feel unhappy.

Loneliness and Kidney Patients

Overcoming loneliness

Age, gender,  socioeconomic status, race, health all affect loneliness,

• Patients, specifically older patients are limited with travel and mobility and run the risk of loneliness the most
• Kidney patients run the risk of loneliness because of issues such as:
• Being on dialysis (takes up to 8 hrs per day)
• Financially burdened, financial hardship. This can be due to a loss of employment, underemployment and reduced earning capacity which then reduces the persons quality of life.
• Physical pain from treatment (e.g needles, side effects of medications, chronic day to day pain for patients
• People in rural and remote areas face loneliness due to the inability travel.
• Race – language barriers are a huge factor as many people may come from a CALD culturally and linguistically diverse background.
• Socieo economic status: Going out requires money, and financial hardship can be a challenge for many people.
• Mobility affected (many transplant patients may be restricted physically or use assistive mobility aids)
• They may also be immunocompromised and unable to form

Mental Health and loneliness

• Mental health is directly linked with physical wellness
• Earning capacity and physical wellness have a direct correlation
• Isolation fosters depression, and many transplant recipients are restricted due to their inability to meet up in person and form real relationships and connections.
• There is also a fear of friendship – day to day activities require a lot of time, energy and can be burdening when you are unwell and taxing on you physically and mentally.
• Patients are also immunocompromised and this results in them being unable to go outside and meet in a regular manner can make them isolated which can also foster depression.

Learning lessons – can loneliness ever be a positive?

What triggers loneliness

• Physical pain linked with loneliness isolation can foster depression
• Being physically limited runs the risk of becoming a ‘shut in’
• Pain and mental health linked
• Less pain means good mental health
• Good health days, being pain free can lead to good mental health and mental acuity
• Link between mental health and mental acuity – people with depressed brains are shown to be on the same spectrum as those who are neurodiverse. All of these conditions can affect cognitive processing/functioning.

Ways people cope with loneliness, healthy vs unhealthy

• Food
• Sex/casual relationships
• Addictive behaviours : Smoking, drugs, alcohol, video games, shopping, television
• Adrenaline sports
• Travel
• Avoidance

Healthy ways of coping with loneliness

• Go outside and get some sunshine
• Join a group/club and group activities e.g meetups
• Art
• Take classes
• Meditation
• Declutter life
• Exercise
• Breathwork
• Sound healing
• Volunteer
• Therapy
• Connect with people over the phone

Ways to help

• Volunteer
• Friendline 1800
• Australian Red Cross
• Black Dog Institute for Mental Health
• Salvation Army
• Lifeline Australia

Lessons from loneliness

• Being lonely it forces or encourages you to meet a lot of people, and in turn you learn more about yourself, what you want don’t want and what is the best thing for you.
• You also learn more about how to handle new situations and experiences
• Helps you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, learn more navigating social situations
• How to deal with interpersonal relationships
• How to be happy with yourself, all the parts, good and bad – what lessons have you learnt from it is most important.

Loneliness, and social media

• Loneliness is often more exacerbated because of what you see online on social media
• Relationships on the internet may not always translate the same way in real life
• Maintaining an online presence can be important because it helps keeps relationships civil  so that you can understand yourself better while you process how best to handle the situation

My personal experience with loneliness

Growing up as an only child of immigrant parents, with a health condition, loneliness was something I often experienced.

While I did have a few friends, not all of them were good friendships. Many relationships were forced upon me and

It wasn’t until later that I made solid friendships because I formed those relationships depending on what I needed and what was suitable for me.

Making friends is a very difficult process however it is one of the best things to have supportive people around you.  For some people making friends is easy, for others it takes a little longer.

You also realise that people have their own issues that they are dealing with, everyone is different and it is about accepting people for who they are.

DW and loneliness – many people resort to unhealthy activities on the internet due to the feeling of being isolated or lonely. This is at its core unhealthy behaviour. The best way to overcome loneliness is to resist the urge to go and engage in unhealthy internet habits and behaviours. Instead focus on self improvement, improving your own mindset and helping others to grow together.

Activities to form friendship

• Pizza night
• Virtual meetups
• Organising group hangouts
• Doing group sport or joining a club or dance etc

Hope this helps anyone dealing with loneliness

Much love,

Luna x